Suffolk woman abused by birth mum now helps other survivors

Dr Haythornthwaite says survivors of abuse find it difficult to talk about their experiences, especially when the abuser is “someone who is supposed to protect and look after you, and bring you into this world”.

Survivors often “internalise” the issue, believing the problem is with themselves, rather than their abuser.

It can be a “shattering” experience for a person when they come to accept the blame lies with their abuser, she says.

“If I can openly share my experiences, I can then show other people that they can survive and they can seek justice, and they deserve better”, Dr Haythornthwaite says.

“Society stigmatises abuse and we remain silent about it.

“Remaining silent about childhood abuse doesn’t make it go away; it allows and enables abusers to thrive.

“By being loud about it, by saying that ‘it’s OK that I’ve gone through this and it’s OK you’ve gone through this – you deserve better, you don’t have to be ashamed,’ we can start to empower others to get the justice that they deserve.

Dr Haythornthwaite’s message to anyone living through abuse is that “you can survive this”.

She urges anyone struggling to seek help from organisations such as the NSPCC and Childline, external.