Farewell Romeo and Juliet. Is digital tech killing old-fashioned love?

The use of dating apps and pornography websites has grown rapidly in recent years, supporting what may develop into a form of addiction—while potentially undermining traditional beliefs in romance and ‘true’ love. To delve deeper, international experts surveyed 664 users of dating apps and online porn to assess people’s views on love and the “existential value we place on it,” says Flinders University psychology researcher Dr. Reza Shabahang, the first author of a new article in BMC Psychology.

“We already know that heavy (addiction-like) use of dating apps and pornography is linked to problems such as anxiety, depression, unhealthy eating habits and trouble controlling sexual behavior,” says Shabahang, who collaborated with Flinders University Professor Zsolt Demetrovics, ELTE Eötvös Loránd University Associate Professor Ágnes Zsila and other experts in psychology and human behavior in the digital age.

“Some users can even feel bored or restless when they are not constantly using these platforms,” says Shabahang, from the College of Human Sciences and Culture.

“We wanted to know whether addiction-like use of dating apps and pornography influences how people view romantic love. Do they still see it as meaningful, worth more than money and worth staying faithful for?

“Does it affect the way we see love itself and the existential value we place on it?”

Love seen as less meaningful

Associate Professor Ágnes Zsila, a psychologist and co-author from Hungary, says the results showed that the more people used these platforms in an addiction-like way, the less they valued love.

“They were more likely to see love as meaningless, to believe it only works when there is money involved, and to jump quickly in and out of relationships,” says Zsila from ELTE Eötvös Loránd University in Budapest, Hungary.

“We think the downsides of these platforms are part of the answer. For example, dating apps can leave people overwhelmed by choice and stuck in shallow conversations.

“Pornography often places greater emphasis on physical gratification than on closeness and intimacy within personal relationships. Over time, these emphases may contribute to viewing relationships primarily as a means of satisfying sexual needs rather than as a source of deeper emotional connection.”

Mindful use may reduce harm

However, Shabahang says there was one hopeful finding.

“People who used technology more ‘mindfully’ were less likely to become hooked, and reported fewer problems with how they saw love,” he says. In other words, using technology, including these tools, with awareness helps.

“For example, by asking yourself why you are using them and remembering that the experiences on these platforms can be different from offline life.”

A warning for future relationships

The results support the need for users to be aware of the risks of harm when using these technologies.

“We think this simple awareness can help you get the good out of technology while protecting yourself from the harm,” adds Demetrovics, who is director of the Flinders Institute for Mental Health and Wellbeing.

“Society and future generations still need romantic stories worth telling, and technology must not be a hurdle to that.”

Who’s behind this story?

Robert Egan

Bachelor’s in mathematical biology, Master’s in creative writing. Well-traveled with unique perspectives on science and language.

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