‘Working from home has helped me be a better mum’

The culture of working from home, which was accelerated during the pandemic, is coming under pressure over its impact on the economy.

Mayor Sir Sadiq Khan has expressed concerns that central London is being “emptied out”, while organisations including the Metropolitan Police are bringing in requirements for staff to work a standard number of days in the office.

One argument in favour of home working is that it benefits parents, but how does it impact children?

“I wasn’t the best mum that I could be. I’d get home, and it was a bit of a blur after work. I’d eat and then work again. It was constant.”

Mother-of-three Martha was working 50 to 60 hours a week as a teacher.

The long hours meant she had very little time with her children – sons Otis and Barnaby and daughter Amelie – or for herself.

“I was feeling quite stressed at the time; I was struggling to sleep, my hair was falling out, I was having heart palpitations, I had a ticking in my ear known as pulsar tinnitus,” she said.

It wasn’t only herself who noticed the impact the job was having.

“Mummy was grumpy and stressed in the evenings,” Amelie, now aged 14, said.

Martha said she knew she had to leave teaching after being hospitalised for deep vein thrombosis following a parent’s evening.

Now running her own business as a virtual assistant from the family’s east London home, she works 30 hours a week and receives more money than she did for teaching.

It has transformed the relationship with her children.

“I appreciate the fact that I’m living my life with them, and I’m not just bundled off into a school in a different borough where I can’t see them,” she said.

Her children agree.

“It’s so nice to have Mum around,” said Amelie

“If I’m not having a very good day at school, then I’ll come home and I’ll just talk her about the dramas going on.”

Barnaby, 10, adds: “The thing that makes it nice is that she’s there – even if she’s on a meeting, it’s nice to just have that moment of conversation.”

The benefit to children is something that has been backed up by research.

Professor Sam Wass is a neuroscientist at the University of East London who studies children’s brain development and behaviour.

He said: “The research on this is pretty clear. For families where the parent is more engaged, children’s academic outcomes are better, and their long-term mental health outcomes are better too.”

However, he acknowledged that the amount of time parents can spend with their children depends on finances.

“For a lot of families, this is a resources question: can I afford to work four days a week? Can I afford to knock off work at three o’clock in the afternoon to pick up the kids from school?”

But Prof Wass said studies showed it did not have to be a long period of time for the impacts to be felt, five to 10 minutes could have a beneficial effect.

“In the morning, for example, it’s very easy – I’m exactly the same – to be very focused on ‘I’ve got to do this’ and then you’ve got your list of jobs to do in a hurry.

“But just to take five minutes to wipe all of that out of your mind and say, ‘OK, I’m going to sit and I’m going to play with my kids, I’m going to watch and respond to what they’re interested in, this isn’t about me and what I need to get done, this is about me being there for the child and supporting my child in what they want to do’.”

He added: “This type of child-led learning, where you’re sitting and responding and sustaining and helping them to engage in what they’re interested in, is really, really important for child outcomes.

“But the other thing is, it’s great for you as a parent too, just to force yourself to forget your day-to-day worries and to be there with your child really, really helps you to manage your stress and to manage your bad moods at the same time.”

Not every job has the option to work from home; those who work on construction sites, in schools, hospitals or shift-based roles in hospitality and shops for example, cannot.

Clare McNeil from Timewise, a social enterprise which helps employers support flexible working, said although it was great that there had been a rise in hybrid working, they were concerned about workers who had not benefitted from this cultural shift.

“Our work shows that you can, even in these frontline roles, introduce greater choice around shifts and working patterns to introduce greater flexibility through team-based working for example,” she said.

“We want more workers to be able to benefit from these opportunities, thinking about the impact on children and families as well.”

The employment rights bill which is making its way through parliament, will make flexible working the “default” for all workers.

Employers are required to say yes to requests from staff from their first day starting in a job unless they can prove it is “unreasonable”.

The government defines flexible working as a way of working “that suits an employee’s needs”, for example, having flexible start and finish times, or working from home.

Employees can already request flexible working from their first day in a job, but an employer can refuse an application if they have a good business reason for doing so.

“We are hopeful that the government’s legislation that they’re introducing will be an opportunity for more work, more employers to think differently about how they design jobs,” Ms McNeil added.

John Dickie, chief executive at BusinessLDN, said there was no one-size-fits-all when it comes to flexible working, and decisions about work arrangements would be unique for every business because every business is unique.

He said: “Flexible working has many benefits, especially when it comes to employee wellbeing for those juggling multiple responsibilities. Equally, there’s no substitute for the enhanced productivity, innovation and creativity that stems from doing business in person.

“Business growth hinges on personal connections and long-term commercial relationships. There are some things you simply can’t do over zoom. Getting the balance right is crucial to success.”