When parenting advice becomes too much

Around 80 years ago, American paediatrician Dr Benjamin Spock published a book called Baby and Child Care, which went on to sell millions of copies and became the main source of advice for mothers for generations.

The opening line was “Trust yourself. You know more than you think…”

The book challenged strict parenting norms of the time and in the following decades parents were offered more advice from an increasing range of voices.

Research into parenting has increasingly focused on the early years – from pregnancy to the age of two when the building blocks for lifelong emotional and physical health are laid down. For parents, that means more advice to navigate competing messages about what is best for their children.

Professor Ellie Lee, the director of the Centre for Parenting Culture Studies, has studied parenting for more than two decades, including research into mothers’ confidence and uncertainty around infant feeding.

She says a major shift occurred in the 1990s when parenting became an increasing focus of public policy.

“Politicians started to say ‘Parenting’s the hardest job in the world. Children don’t come with a manual. We need to give parents guidance. Parents need more support. We need parent education’.”

Advice began to emerge on almost every aspect of family life, from tummy time, to feeding, to the right buggy, she explains.

Prof Lee argues that while some public health campaigns were necessary, such as advice not to put babies to sleep on their front after research into cot deaths, the growing culture of advice began to make parents paranoid.

“Dr Spock’s ‘trust yourself’ philosophy is now a very counter-cultural piece of advice,” she says. “What we say instead is ‘always seek help’,”