Relationship expert shares 5 top tips to avoid dating burnout

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If you are sick and tired of swiping on dating apps, only to delete them and begrudgingly redownload them soon after, it’s time for a change.

Dating guru Dr Callisto Adams, who has been a relationship counsellor and coach for more than seven years, collaborated with Love Honey to answer the most commonly asked questions about dating in the digital age.

What exactly is dating app fatigue?

“Simply put, dating app fatigue is a sense of burnout you get from using dating apps for a prolonged period whereby you’re not seeing, or getting, what you want from the interactions you’re experiencing,” explained Dr Adams.

“You could be on the lookout for a specific type of person, and you’re counting on dating apps to find them, or you thought you found someone who is of interest, but it turns out to not be the case. As a result, you might continue using the app(s) in the hope of finding what you’re looking for, but to the point where you’re just exhausted from the search.”

If you are still keen to find your person but feel exhausted from the search, then Dr Adams has some insightful tips that might be handy for you.

How can we overcome dating app fatigue?

“The first thing you can do is manage the time you spend on dating apps,” suggested Dr Adams, who is a believer in setting “clear limits” on how much you swipe.

Mindlessly scrolling away may be a boredom buster, but it could lead to matches that will naturally go nowhere.

“Don’t swipe on someone you’d never speak to,” said Dr Adams. “When you’re continuously swiping on a dating app, it can become easy to zone out and lose touch with what you truly want from a partner.”

Dr Adams elaborated: “This can leave you with numerous matches, but none you’d actually have a genuine interest in. Instead, make sure to stay true to what you’re looking for from a potential match.”

While this one might be controversial, Dr Adams suggested limiting the number of people you speak to on the apps at the same time.

“When you’re speaking to multiple matches at once, it can become easy to lose track of your conversations,” said Dr Adams.

“This can result in never truly connecting on a genuine level with one individual. By limiting the number of conversations you’re having at once, you’re able to form deeper connections.”

Dr Adams added: “Managing your expectations is another important thing to keep in mind when you’re on dating apps. Not everyone you match with online will be right for you, and that’s completely OK.”

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Another recommendation from Dr Adams is to give yourself a break – don’t put too much pressure on yourself while dating.

“If you’re not enjoying your experience, or you feel it’s becoming too overwhelming, have a break and try to reconnect with yourself,” Dr Adams advised.

Dr Adams’ top tips:

  1. Set a time limit
  2. Be selective
  3. Limit the number of matches you speak to at the same time
  4. Manage expectations
  5. Take a break

Doing all of these may make you feel more energised to get back out there and start dating once again, but remember that it takes two to tango. 

You can only do so much, and the interest needs to be reciprocated while dating, so while the search can be a part of your life, it’s good to make sure it doesn’t take over your life. 

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